Discover more from The Tape Drive with Steve Moser
A man walks into an Apple store and asks for an Apple Wall.
The salesperson says: "Sure, that will be $3,499.99."
The man says: "Wow, that's expensive. What does it do?"
The salesperson says: "It's a smart TV that can do everything. It has a 120-inch OLED screen, 8K resolution, Dolby Atmos sound, Face ID, Siri, Apple TV+, Apple Arcade, Apple Fitness+, and more."
The man says: "That sounds amazing. Can I see it?"
The salesperson says: "Sure, follow me."
They walk to the back of the store and the salesperson points to a wall.
The man says: "Where is it?"
The salesperson says: "It's right there."
The man says: "I don't see anything."
The salesperson says: "Exactly. It's so thin and sleek that it blends in with the wall. You can only see it when it's turned on."
The man says: "Wow, that's incredible. How do you turn it on?"
The salesperson says: "You just say 'Hey Siri, turn on the Apple Wall.'"
The man says: "Hey Siri, turn on the Apple Wall."
Nothing happens.
The salesperson says: "Sorry, I forgot to mention that you need to buy the Apple Siri Remote for only $99.99 extra to make voice commands work."
The man says: "Okay, that's a bit more than I expected, but if it’s as good as you say, I’ll take it!"
The salesperson says: "Great! Let me grab the Apple Siri Remote for you."
The salesperson comes back with a small device and hands it to the man.
The man says: "Hey Siri, turn on the Apple Wall," through the Apple Siri Remote.
Still, nothing happens.
The salesperson says: "Ah, I apologize again. You need to have an Apple TV+ subscription for just $6.99 per month to actually see the content on the Apple Wall."
The man, now getting slightly frustrated, says: "Fine, sign me up."
After signing him up for the subscription, the salesperson says: "Now, try it!"
The man says: "Hey Siri, turn on the Apple Wall."
Suddenly, the wall flickers and turns into a breathtaking display.
The man is astonished and says: "This is amazing! But wait, I can barely hear it in this crowded store."
The salesperson says: "Oh, that’s because you need the Apple AirPods Pro. It’s a cutting-edge pair of headphones available for an additional $249.99."
The man, now visibly agitated, says: "You know what, just give me everything I need to make it work perfectly."
After spending an additional $200 on various accessories and subscriptions, the man finally has the Apple Wall working with all the features.
The salesperson says: "Great, would you like the Apple Wall Mount for an extra $999.99? It's the best way to properly mount the Apple Wall."
The man says: "What?! Does it do anything special?"
The salesperson replies: "Oh, it's just a regular ladder, but it has an Apple logo on it."